


Protect Papyrus 2015

by MiniNephthys



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4882468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk doesn’t recognize the human woman talking to Papyrus now, and they haven’t caught the whole conversation, but they recognize the look she’s giving him and Papyrus’s puzzled stare.</p><p>There’s also the fact that she just used the phrases ‘vigorous boning’ and ‘bone up on my anatomy’ in quick succession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Protect Papyrus

Frisk’s job as ambassador to humans is fairly intuitive, and always has been. They convince humans not to attack monsters or run and scream when they come by, and they’ve done that for several years now with great success.

Recently, they've taken on one other additional duty.

Papyrus, as unofficial mascot and official human enthusiast, likes to talk to humans. Frisk doesn’t recognize the human woman talking to him now, and they haven’t caught the whole conversation, but they recognize the look she’s giving him and Papyrus’s puzzled stare.

There’s also the fact that she just used the phrases ‘vigorous boning’ and ‘bone up on my anatomy’ in quick succession. That’s usually a giveaway. Frisk steps in before things can escalate.

“Papyrus,” they say, “Sans and Undyne were just looking for you.”

“Really?” Papyrus looks delighted, while the woman looks put out. “Maybe they should meet my new friend-”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” says Frisk. “They said they wanted to have some delicious Papyrus brand spaghetti.”

“Really??”

Frisk nods. “But they said they’re really, really hungry. So if they don’t have it soon they’ll just have lousy junk food instead.”

“Oh no! I, the great Papyrus, won’t allow that to happen!” Papyrus puffs out his chest. “I will return to cook a magnificent meal for them right away! Oh, you should come and have some too!”

“I’ll follow you in a little bit,” says Frisk. “Go on without me.”

So Papyrus hurries off, and Frisk makes a mental note to call Undyne soon and explain the situation, before turning to the woman.

“He was cute,” she says, as her first defense. “Even if he is a skeleton.”

“I know he’s cute, and I don’t have a problem with humans dating monsters… or doing other things with them…” Even if it is still really weird for Frisk to think about that. Probably because they mostly seem to hit on Papyrus and Sans. Or the dogs. “But you can’t hit on Papyrus.”

She folds her arms across her chest. “Why not?”

“Monsters don’t grow at the same speed that humans do. Papyrus is still pretty much the same age mentally as he was five years ago.” At her blank look, Frisk elaborates: “Five years ago, _I_ was dating him.”

Technically it was only one date, but the point has been made. The woman looks suddenly pale. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So, please don’t hit on him anymore, he is only an innocent skeleton and he doesn’t understand what you mean.” Satisfied that their job as ambassador to humans and protector of Papyrus’ purity has been done, Frisk turns to go (someone has to eat all that spaghetti), when-

“Are there any older skeletons I could talk to?” she asks.

Frisk thinks for a few moments.

“This thing you have for skeletons is kind of weird and I don’t want to know how it even works,” they say. “But I guess this counts as furthering monster-human relations? I’ll put in a good word for you.”


	2. Protect Papyrus 2: The Brothering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Frisk doesn’t do this job, Sans certainly will.

Frisk is dedicated to the job of Protector of Papyrus’s Purity, but not one hundred percent because of Papyrus himself. Certainly, that’s most of their motivation: Papyrus is a very close friend and Frisk would really rather punch themself in the face than see anything bad happen to him.

A smaller portion of their dedication, however, is because if Frisk doesn’t do this job, Sans certainly will.

If Frisk had to name a single monster responsible for more human-monster conflicts than any other, that… would probably be Mettaton. Mettaton is a person who doesn’t take insult well and expects to be treated like a star even by people who have never heard of him before. Frisk has broken up more fights and posing competitions than they can count.

But after Mettaton, it’s Sans.

Sans, most of the time, is a fairly chill and laidback person who Frisk enjoys spending time with. Sans has also pointed skull lasers at someone’s face for hitting on his brother. (Though, even Frisk whose official policy about hurting people is ‘don’t’ agrees that that guy was kind of pushy and aggressive and that threatening him a little was probably the simplest way to get him to back off. Skull lasers were still excessive.)

It’s still not very good for race relations if making advances toward a skeleton who at least appears to be an adult can get you slammed into a wall. Or the ground. Or the ceiling. Sans doesn’t even need to be around to know when someone is flirting with Papyrus, so it’s never completely safe to make a move.

“Sans, what are you going to do when Papyrus gets old enough to date?” Frisk asks after one particularly trying incident.

“Never gonna happen,” says Sans. “So I don’t worry about it.”

“Monsters live to a really long time. I’m sure he’ll be mature enough for it one day.” When Sans looks at them askance, Frisk stares back at him. “It’s not healthy to live in denial.”

They have a short staring contest. Sans tends to win these due to being a skeleton and not needing to blink, but today he’s the first to look away. “Kid, I dunno if you have any siblings, but thinking about them growing up is… weird. Reminds you time is passing and things aren’t just in a constant loop.”

That’s a weird way to put it, but Frisk thinks they get what Sans means. “I don’t have any younger siblings,” they say. “I just have you guys, and you’re all older.”

That gets Sans to crack a smile. “Seeing you grow up is even weirder. You’ll always be some pipsqueak in a striped shirt to me.”

“Hey, I’m taller than you now!”

“Maybe. But I’m always gonna be more skele-tall.”

They banter affectionately, but Frisk hasn’t forgotten the original subject of their conversation.

The thought that one day even Papyrus might gain the emotional maturity necessary to go on a real date… It fills Frisk with determination.


End file.
